I miss you.
I miss you. I keep daydreaming about you showing up at our door with flowers and reservations for a weekend away. I wish I could push away the desire for such things; I know the reality is that we cannot afford them (much less pursue them with the kids), but my heart is heavy with desire for you. It's not just physical desire, although that is definitely part of it; it's emotional and spiritual desire too. I want a weekend away from all of the noise and stress, so we can just be together - to talk, to pray, to embrace. I miss you so much.
I started to hit send, but stopped myself. While it's true that it's been far too long since we've spent more than a couple of hours alone, I decided it was best to bring my desires to prayer.
While I prayed, God reminded me how incredibly blessed I am to have such a strong desire for my husband after almost 10 years of marriage. Many couples these days lose that fire before their first anniversary. As much as I pray for God to change our current financial struggle, I realized that if this is the cross that we must carry at the moment, as long as we have one another, it is worth the weight (and the wait, because I am still praying this trial doesn't last forever!).
To have a husband that I love and that loves me in return is priceless. The sacrifices we must endure seem like such a small offering when I use them to give thanks to God for the gift of my husband. It may be another 10 years before he can show up with flowers and reservations for a weekend away, but as long as he is the one at the door holding the flowers, I can wait.